i don't wanna hear that you've given up on everything
( 05.30.2004 )
he accuses me of avoiding him, and the truth is.. i had been. i grow tired of hearing how he doesn't like the way he looks and shoving his problems in my face all the time. yeah, you're hurting. maybe DO something about it. i also don't like talking to him when he's "loopy" (as he says) on ambien. (he'll use those pills as a scrapegoat for his behavior) and even worse, i don't enjoy talking to him when he's drunk. it makes me feel really special when you call me up and you don't have the decency to be sober.
maybe i don't like talking to him because it gives me a perspective of what i put other people through sometimes. i guess i hate to think that i could be so annoying, self-centered, overly dramatic, and simply frustrating to someone.
you would think that depression would have made me more sympathetic to other people, but it really hasn't. if anything, my patience is severely limited because of it.
