& i'm wondering how i got to where i've been
( 03.30.2004 )
i hate thinking about how i'll have to say goodbye to him again. sure, every visit brings me a higher high, but each time we separate it hurts even more: we become closer each time, and then we have to pull away. it's torture to have a glimpse of what it'll be like, but of course, it can't be like that now.
but the only thing i can really say to all of this is 'oh well.' because i'm such a half-empty sort of person and i think about saying farewells before i've even said hello.
