i hope tomorrow doesn't feel this way.
( 09.17.2003 )
i'm begging to feel nothing.
i don't want to go to sleep only because i'm tired of crying.
emotions swarm like bees. //!?WHY?!// can't i shoo them away?
i can't even fully express myself anymore. [everything seems so trapped inside now.]
[[i think about running everyday away from this life i've made built to last a little too long. feeling trapped under my own weight; too heavy now to stand, let alone fly. and i'm always watching the sky with jealous eyes. wish i'd finally fall apart - do something desperate to change things. changed my mind again, just when i was getting brave]] >>brandtson.
