i believe in happiness & in love that never fails but the longer i wait here the more they just seem like a fairy tale
( 07.23.2003 )
in most relationships, i found myself wanting to feel bad. i thought that then they would have a reason to be with me. i liked the attention. i liked the worry and the care. i will admit it.
but now, i'm wondering how i can benefit him. i think of the possibilities. what we can do for each other. it all seems so trite, but these words and thoughts have surely not lost their golden meaning for me.
i don't know what's going to happen. i don't have all the answers. and for once, i think it'll all be okay.
will i feel foolish if things don't work out? yes. but i'm not going to let fear undermine what i'm feeling right now. i'm not going to allow it to block me from pursuing this.
i no longer have to be the girl always in need - the girl that needs to be watched for fear she might do something.
all i'm doing is living right now.. and i feel fortunate to be devoting some of that life to you.
